Thursday, October 6, 2011

Blog Dare 10/6/11

Saying goodbye

So today's blog dare's topic was saying goodbye.  When i read it I instantly thought of my mother.  She passed away two and a half years ago and I never had a chance to say goodbye.  My relationship with my mother wasn't a very loving one.  We had not said "I love you" to each other in over ten years.  Something I have regretted since the day she passed away.
We never expected that we would lose her so soon.  She was only 57 years old.  A major asthma attack had sent her into a heart attack.  She last oxygen for 45 mins.  They brought her back, but by that point she was brain dead.  My mom was a nurse and we knew that she did not want to remain on life support.  So when the test came back that she was officially brain dead, we honored her wishes and signed for the hospital to pull the plug.  We also signed the paper work for her to donate any organs.
After we had signed the paper work.  I leaned over and gave my sleeping mother a hug and a kissed her.  I said my final goodbye.  Everyone tells me that she knew I loved her and said goodbye.  It still doesn't feel the same as saying it to her when she was conscious.  So everyday i regret how long it had been since I told my mother I loved her.
Now with my kids i make sure to tell them 2 or 3 times a day that I love them.  I don't want them to have that same regret.

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